15 minutes

My fifteen minutes of fame has come and gone. it started September fifteenth two thousand and ten and lasted for about two months. I was on the local Austin news station three or four times and they were all for the same thing, I was the girl who was kayaking with her dad when he died. It was headline news. People talked, school didn't matter, stake functions were like a Taylor Swift concert.. everyone wanted a piece of me. They wanted to know first hand how i was doing. How i felt. To tell me i looked thin (which by the way i didn't, i gained about twenty pounds after that day). It felt like everywhere I went there was someone that wanted to give me a hug.

Now i live in Provo Utah. No one knows who i am. No one cares that i have serious emotional problems and am too instable for my own good. No one cares and i think i like it better like this. I am not a spectacle when i walk into church. I actually have to turn in assignments on time, and take tests.

But sometimes it is hard. Like today for instance, i have to take a science test tomorrow and i am not prepared at all. But i can not bring myself to open my text book. So in an effort to distract myself i ended up watching this and this on repeat for a good fifteen minutes. And now i am so numb i couldn't care less about ionic and covalent bonding. Good thing i never really wanted to pass college anyway.

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