Yesterday I got accepted to BYU (yay!!) and I am so excited! But then I think about the fact that that means in 6 months I have to move out of my house, away from my family and grow up... I have no idea where i want to live, or with who? I have no clue what I should major in or if I want to serve a mission. Don't even get me started about marriage, just the word freaks me out!
And then I remember that I don't need to have it all figured out right now. in one of my favorite movies, Twilight, their valedictorian is giving her speech at graduation and she asks all of the aforementioned questions. Her response is "Who the hell knows?!" and that is exactly how I feel. So what if I don't know,so what if I get it wrong and have to change my major. That's all part of life, right?
When I look at college in that light i see that it is not a time to be 100% perfect and make the right choice every time. College is a time to grow and learn new things and meet new people. It is a time to find yourself and learn what you like. When I look at it with that mindset, I am no longer scared...I can hardly wait!!!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
5/7 of my life
Some days I wake up in areally good mood, I know it'll be a good day and most things will go my way, that happens maybe 2 days a week.
The other 5 days normally start with 6 alarms going off in 3 minute intervals, sleeping through seminary, and my hair not looking good. Those days are awful. Thos eare the days I think "I can't so this", these days all I want is to go back to sleep and when I wake up maybe I'll discover that the past 5 months have been a dream, that maybe, just maybe, you'll come back. And the worst part of those days is the reoccurring realization that that is not going to happen.
The other 5 days normally start with 6 alarms going off in 3 minute intervals, sleeping through seminary, and my hair not looking good. Those days are awful. Thos eare the days I think "I can't so this", these days all I want is to go back to sleep and when I wake up maybe I'll discover that the past 5 months have been a dream, that maybe, just maybe, you'll come back. And the worst part of those days is the reoccurring realization that that is not going to happen.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
welcome back
i haven't blogged in close to 2 years..and i just discovered that i am the oly person that reads my blog so I now feel i can say whatever i want and no one will read it! that is until one day when i'm a famous blogger and everyone will read my blog from it's start.. but for now i just don't care..
i dont really have anything to say right now except that i am recommiting(sp?) to my blog. so i am welcoming myself back!
Welcome Back, Nikka!
i dont really have anything to say right now except that i am recommiting(sp?) to my blog. so i am welcoming myself back!
Welcome Back, Nikka!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
my hero
I love my mom. Even though sometimes im a brat to her, i still love her. i dont know how my mom puts up with me. sometimes im so mean to her, but she is always patient with me. when all i want to do is sit in my room and watch Prison Break, she tries to understand. she gives me money when i want to go see the same movie over and over (well she used to untill dad told her to cut me off, but thats a different story).
sometimes i dont tell her how much i appreciate her. but im not good at sharing my feelings out loud, so im just going to put my feelings in cyberspace...i love my mom so much, i should probably tell her this, and i do sometimes, but not nearly enough. she sacrifices so much for me and i hardly ever deserve all she does for me. she keeps me motivated, she drives me everywhere. she doesnt ground me. she is nice to my friends. she even buys me plane tickets to go see my sisters when all i do is complain about how she never gives me anything, but even though i might not realize it nearly enough, my mother is the most amazing person ever and i love her so MUCH!!
sometimes i dont tell her how much i appreciate her. but im not good at sharing my feelings out loud, so im just going to put my feelings in cyberspace...i love my mom so much, i should probably tell her this, and i do sometimes, but not nearly enough. she sacrifices so much for me and i hardly ever deserve all she does for me. she keeps me motivated, she drives me everywhere. she doesnt ground me. she is nice to my friends. she even buys me plane tickets to go see my sisters when all i do is complain about how she never gives me anything, but even though i might not realize it nearly enough, my mother is the most amazing person ever and i love her so MUCH!!
reading/writing
i read all the time. usually im reading Twilight, or something having to do with twilight or vampires. but sometimes when i want a little something different i read The Da Vinci Code or Angels and Demons. but thats all. i dont like change, i dont like wasting my time reading something i might not like when i could just read something i know i will like.
when im depressed i read Kyrias blog. when i miss my sisters, or when i need a laugh, i read Elyses blog. they are the reason i blog. because if someone writing down what they think/feel can impact me so much, maybe i can impact someone else. but my sisters are the only ones that know about my blog, so they are the ones that might be impacted by something i write. but im not going to hold out hope for this blog to change lives. this is just a place for me to vent and complain and say anything! so sorry if you dont enjoy it, dont read it if you dont care about stupid things that i have to say, cause thats all this is going to be, me writing about nothing!
when im depressed i read Kyrias blog. when i miss my sisters, or when i need a laugh, i read Elyses blog. they are the reason i blog. because if someone writing down what they think/feel can impact me so much, maybe i can impact someone else. but my sisters are the only ones that know about my blog, so they are the ones that might be impacted by something i write. but im not going to hold out hope for this blog to change lives. this is just a place for me to vent and complain and say anything! so sorry if you dont enjoy it, dont read it if you dont care about stupid things that i have to say, cause thats all this is going to be, me writing about nothing!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Random things about ME!
Where is your cell phone? right next to me
Your hair? on top of my head
Your father? thinks he is cooler than he is, OLD
Your favorite thing? iphone
Your dream last night? something with Taylor, Bailey,Reagan, Brad, Austin, and Allie
Your favorite drink? agua
Your dream goal? 'see ya there'
The room you are in? bedroom
Your fear? failure
Where do you want to be in 6 years? twenty, twirpy, and twig like
Muffins? poppyseed
One of wish list items? private jet
Where did you grow up? ATX
The last thing you did? camp kick off...
What you are wearing? G-mans batman shirt, some boxers, boots
Your t.v.? gilmore girls
Your pets? millie
Your computer? moms old compaq
Your life? boring
Your mood? eh
Missing someone? YESS
Your car? n/a :((
Favorite store? target
Your favorite color? orange
The last time you laughed? sunday school
Last time you cried? last night
Food? limes and salt
Where would you rather be right now? UTAH!
Your hair? on top of my head
Your father? thinks he is cooler than he is, OLD
Your favorite thing? iphone
Your dream last night? something with Taylor, Bailey,Reagan, Brad, Austin, and Allie
Your favorite drink? agua
Your dream goal? 'see ya there'
The room you are in? bedroom
Your fear? failure
Where do you want to be in 6 years? twenty, twirpy, and twig like
Muffins? poppyseed
One of wish list items? private jet
Where did you grow up? ATX
The last thing you did? camp kick off...
What you are wearing? G-mans batman shirt, some boxers, boots
Your t.v.? gilmore girls
Your pets? millie
Your computer? moms old compaq
Your life? boring
Your mood? eh
Missing someone? YESS
Your car? n/a :((
Favorite store? target
Your favorite color? orange
The last time you laughed? sunday school
Last time you cried? last night
Food? limes and salt
Where would you rather be right now? UTAH!
Monday, March 9, 2009
people
i need someone who:
understands why i read Twilight every week and dosent make fun of me for it.
dosent care when i talk about nothing just so i can hear myself talk.
holds me when i cry.
gets me out of school to go shopping.
buys me random things just because.
has the strange ability to get me free food when they wear shorts and heels.
takes me to 4th meal.
tells me what to wear.
eats junk food with me all night.
listens.
appreciates me.
dosent judge me.
will let me tell them about my stupid high school drama.
understands when i have a crush on an eight grader.
loves me unconditionally, even when i may ask crazy things of them, like to break up with their boyfriend because i dont feel loved,
the thing is that i know excatly where i can find someone like this, two someones in fact, but unfortunately they are living their lives. so i will continue to live mine and try to make the most of it. because everyone has trials. and if this is as hard as my life is right now...well i think i can manage. and for the time being i will turn to my imaginary friends, Edward and Bella, because no matter where i am, they will always be there too. maybe thats why i read twilight, because twilight dosent have to go to college or grow up, it will always be right on my iphone, always a touch away!
understands why i read Twilight every week and dosent make fun of me for it.
dosent care when i talk about nothing just so i can hear myself talk.
holds me when i cry.
gets me out of school to go shopping.
buys me random things just because.
has the strange ability to get me free food when they wear shorts and heels.
takes me to 4th meal.
tells me what to wear.
eats junk food with me all night.
listens.
appreciates me.
dosent judge me.
will let me tell them about my stupid high school drama.
understands when i have a crush on an eight grader.
loves me unconditionally, even when i may ask crazy things of them, like to break up with their boyfriend because i dont feel loved,
the thing is that i know excatly where i can find someone like this, two someones in fact, but unfortunately they are living their lives. so i will continue to live mine and try to make the most of it. because everyone has trials. and if this is as hard as my life is right now...well i think i can manage. and for the time being i will turn to my imaginary friends, Edward and Bella, because no matter where i am, they will always be there too. maybe thats why i read twilight, because twilight dosent have to go to college or grow up, it will always be right on my iphone, always a touch away!
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